Somali society can be competitive. The Gentleman Afsomali faces conflict differently.
1. Avoid the Qaylo (Yelling): In the West Bank of Minneapolis or the streets of Eastleigh, you will see men shouting over small change. The Afsomali gentleman steps back. He lowers his decibel level. In Somali culture, the person shouting has already lost the argument.
2. The Art of Dardaaran (Blessing/Will): The gentleman gives credit. When someone enters a room, he stands. When an elder speaks, he listens. When a young person tries and fails, he mentors. A Gentleman Afsomali
3. The Non-Negotiable Hygiene: A true Gentleman Afsomali is impeccably clean. Following Sunan al-Fitra (natural hygiene practices), he is well-groomed. The scent of Cadar (perfume oil) with a base of sandalwood or musk precedes him. He believes that cleanliness is half of dignity.
There is a dangerous counterfeit in modern Somali society: The Qalanjo (a flashy, consumerist young man). The Qalanjo wears designer labels, speaks loudly on an iPhone, and spends lavishly on Khat or luxury hotels. He confuses arrogance with confidence. Somali society can be competitive
A Gentleman Afsomali rejects the Qalanjo aesthetic.
In Somali culture, a man’s tongue is his sword and his shield. The Afsomali gentleman speaks with edeb (courtesy) and xishood (modesty). He knows that: He avoids crude jokes, raised voices in public,
He avoids crude jokes, raised voices in public, and gossip — especially about women or elders.